Whats Done Is Done
by curiositykilledthekittykatt
Summary: After the Fall. John is extremely suicidal. John sends a text, "his note", to the detectives number not expecting an answer. The truth comes out about what really happened the day Sherlock "died". Feelings are revealed and Sherlock takes off again looking for the last killer. He comes back and John and Sherlock try to get back into the swing of things.
1. Chapter 1

My therapist said I should stop texting this number. She said that two years ago. The pain…hasn't stopped since you jumped. I tried everything. I tried dating, focusing on work, getting a dog…but nothing has helped. Nothing will ever fill the hole you left in my life. So…I guess this is /my/ note. Goodbye. I'll see you soon, Sherlock. –JW

John. SH

Who is this...? JW

Deduce. Who do you think John. Dont end your life. SH

No. It's not you. You're dead. JW

I had to fake it. To save you and others. I am so terribly sorry John. SH

I don't believe you. Prove it. That this is really you. JW

Remember our first case. You saved my life. SH

Sherlock... JW

Yes John. It is really me. I beg you not to end your life. You will be missed greatly. SH

Where are you? JW

I am on the outskirts of Londen for now. SH

I have to finish some business. SH

I need to see you. JW

Please. I need to see you. JW

John, I want to see you. I have been fighting the urge to come back for so long. Once I am done here, I will come for you. SH

I don't know how much longer I can last... JW

Alright. I will come for a quick visit. I will then have to leave. But mark my words John. I /will/ be back after that..for good. SH

All I need is to see you. JW

I will meet you by Angelos place. SH

Okay. JW

At three. SH

...Fine. JW

It is now eight minutes past Three. Sherlock is getting anxious. It has been years since he has seen John

It had taken John an hour just to put the gun down. He had been shaking, clutching to his phone like it was his life. With a pounding heart, he made his way to Angelo's. He ran out of money the other day, so he had to walk. He was cold, tired, and hungry, but mostly he was anxious. Doubt still clouded his mind about those text messages. When he the restaurant was in sight, his eyes scanned frantically for his lost flatmate.

Sherlock spotten John easily. He has gotten very thin. Sherlock bit his lips with guilt. How could he have caused his John to get like this. When he had first started receiving weekly texts from John, he thought it was a nice way to always know what hes up to. Then they started getting bad. There are so many times when he just wanted to answer John. To let him know he still cared, and was still alive. He knew John was depressed and suicidal. But the text he received earlier that morning scared Sherlock. He knew he had to answer John or else he would have lost the on person he cared for most.

When John spotted Sherlock, his breath caught in his throat and his heart stopped beating for a moment. "Sh...Sherlock..." His weak voice manage to crack out. It took a second for his legs to remember how to move, and then he ran into the detective's arms with tears running down his face. He was real, he was alive. The doctor's arms clung to Sherlock, afraid to let go.

Sherlock wasnt expecting the hug. He had prepared himself for a punch or something equal to that. He could sense John was clinging on for dear life. Sherlock slowly leaned into the embrace and wrapped his arms around John. "I have been lost without my blogger." Was the first words he spoke to John since the fall.

John was trying not to cry, but he had been an inch away from giving up. Hearing that voice again sent a wave of relief through the doctor. He took a deep, staggered breath and pushed Sherlock away lightly. "You...you bloody idiot. I..." He closed his eyes, anger starting to build in him.

It brought a smile to Sherlocks face to hear Johns normal voice again. Well, almost normal. He could see my the clenching of Johns fist he was getting heated. Here comes the Punch, Sherlock thought to himself. He did deserve it after all he put John though. "John...I..." He didn't know what more to say. An apology was definitely in order. But he needed time to think of what to say to John.

John shook his head, not opening his eyes. "This...whole time..." He paused, trying to form words in his head. When he couldn't, he resigned to focus his emotion into a punch. He pulled back his hand and hit the detective square in the face, not caring that they were drawing stares. "Do you have any idea the hell you put me through?!"

Oddly enough, getting punched by John made Sherlock feel better. John was punishing him for what he did, John wasnt all sentimental about it .Which meant things could be as they once were. "Yes John. I have a very good idea from those constant text messages." He started to lead the way into Angelos, where they had first had dinner together. Well, John ate while Sherlock observed.

John didn't move, still shaking but calming down a bit. He was still half convinced that this was a dream. "...I don't have any money." He said, his stomach growling at the thought of food, which was an improvement from the lack of appetite he had before. He was starting to feel again, which was both good and bad.

"Its alright John. I will pay. No need to worry." Sherlocks heart ached at the sight of John. He was so broken. All because of Sherlock. He didnt know how to make things better. He needed John to be happy. Sherlock could see John had just about given up on life. Well that was obvious from the suicide note from earlier. They took their seats and Sherlock reached over and squeezed Johns arm to reassure him everything was going to be just fine. Eventually.

The pale blogger glanced at Sherlock's arm, and it did make him feel a bit better. His left hand fidgeted under the table, and his eyes were focused on it for some reason. He had so many questions to ask, but he decided to save those for when he was a bit stronger. It was then that he realized how weak, how pathetic he looked. "...I'm...sorry you had to see me like this."

"No. Dont apologize. I am sorry for what I did to you. I never thought you would take it this hard..I thought you would mourn for a month or two and then move on" Sherlock was not important. He did not expect to be missed as much as was. He certainly did not deserve it. He felt a sting of guilt when John apologized. He was getting angry at himself. "John. You have nothing to be sorry about." He said matter of factly.

John scoffed and shook his head. "Move on? Maybe I could have if I didn't realize..." He trailed off. If he didn't realize that his feelings for the detective were more than just friendship. He had loved him. He tried to forget, to move on, but every time he went out on a date all he could think about was Sherlock. How much he wished the one he was kissing was Sherlock. He had lost more than a best friend that day.

He opened his mouth to ask what John realized. But Sherlock thought it wasnt fair to push anything out of him that John didnt want to share. "Well I here now arnt I?" He doubted that would make John feel better. But it was worth a try. When Sherlock had left John, John was constantly on Sherlock's mind. He slowly realized his feelings for the blogger. Although Sherlock would never admit them to John or anyone for that matter. Sherlock never had a chance, and there was no way in hell he had one now. Not what after he put John through.

John swallowed his words and finally looked up at the detective. "Yeah..." He smiled softly, something he hadn't done in at least a year. Sherlock was here, and John didn't have to be alone anymore. His stomach growled again, and he put his hand over it, embarrassed.

Sherlock couldnt help it but to smile. John was so...adorable? was the word. When he was embarrassed. "Right maybe we should order and...catch up" For some reason saying those words had put a gab bewteen them. It hasnt occured to Sherlock that John might be someone totally different. It didnt sem like it, but you never know. "I have got to say John, I have really missed out little quarrels" Sherlock said with a sincere grin.

John chuckled a bit, looking over a menu. He was still smiling; now that he started he couldn't seem to stop. "That's the first thing you say you missed?" He asked in...a teasing tone? It was a voice John didn't even know he still had. He paused before looking back up at Sherlock. "Well, if you read all my messages then you should know how I've been..."

He could see that remark about bickering lightened the mood and made John smile. He held a gaze with John for a bit longer than John was comfortable with. He didnt realize how much he had missed Johns smile "Oh right of course, just trying to make conversation i suppose. Was never really good at it. But John once question. A dog?" He really missed John. He didnt want this moment to end.

John laughed again. "He was a gift from Lestrade, actually. Said he would...help me get over you." He shook his head as he returned to the menu. "It...worked for a while, I suppose..." This felt so normal, like it hadn't been three years since they last saw each other, and John loved it. There was still an ache in his heart, but he could deal with that later.

Get over? Did John possibly have feelings for Sherlock? No. Sherlock didnt let himself think like that. It was silly to dream. Mycroft was right. Caring is not an advantage. "Ah Lestrade. How is he? Is he with his wife still?" He really didnt care. Just wanted to hear Johns voice. "And Mrs. Hudson, she been well?"

John shook his head. "I don't really know...I haven't really talked to anyone in years. I haven't even seen Mrs. Hudson since I moved out of 221b..." He trailed off, focusing on what he wanted to order. When he had found what he wanted he looked back up. "But...since you're back we can move back in." And everything will return to normal.

"Right. I believe you had mentioned that in one of the texts. Something about it being unbearable, i was everywhere, I think you said" Sherlock tried to say this as casual as possible. He knew every single one of the texts John had sent him. "Mr Watson it would be a pleasure to move back to 221b with you. Now, are you ready to order? I believe I see Angelo coming over here...ah..and with a candle" Sherlock said with an awkward chuckle. "Just like old times i suppose."

There was a rush of so many emotions in that exchange that John simply nodded. Pain, followed by joy, followed by his face flushing slightly. He cleared his throat before ordering, something small so his stomach wouldn't freak out. He had come dangerously close to malnutrition, and so he couldn't eat very much. He thought back to their first dinner here. He had been so against the thought that he was interested in Sherlock, who had said he was married to his work. How much they had changed since then...

John could see the remark about the candle flustered John. Still, John couldnt hide anything from Sherlock. Oddly enough that was comforting. He is sure the blush was from embarrassment. He remembered John always nagging on how they werent a couple. Him and John having that awkward conversation about Sherlocks love life. And Sherlock saying he was married to his work. "John, once you finish your food, we need to talk."

John nodded again. There was a lot John wanted to talk about, so much he didn't know where to start. He wondered what the detective wanted. Whatever it was, John was more than happy to answer, to keep Sherlock there as long as possible before he had to go away again.

Once John had finished his meal, they took a stroll in the park. They made small talk until they entered secluded area. "John, you probably have a lot of questions." He was willing to give John any answers he needed to make him feel better about all this. "And i want you to know in advance, that never blame yourself."

The doctor nodded, taking a deep breath before he began. Might as well start at the beginning. "Why? Why did you have to fake your death, and why did it take so long to get back?"

"Ah right. Jim Moriarty was real. He made up Richard Brooks so create my downfall. He had said he would kill the people that was most important to me. So you, obviously. Mrs Hudson and Lestrade. If I didnt jump, then you all would have died. And i could not live with myself knowing that you died and i could have prevented it." Sherlock cringed at the thought of John dead. Yes of course the others were very important to Sherlock. But John had a special place in his heart. "I was not planning to come back just yet. Like I had mentioned earlier, I have some things to take care of. To ensure your safetly. I was hunting down all of Mortiarty's people that were involved in anyway with this case." Sherlock was sure he had gotten everything

It all made sense, and John felt his heart stir at the answer. He had never doubted that Moriarty had simply made up Richard Brook. He never once doubted Sherlock. He was about to ask how he did it, but felt like he should wait until he had completely recovered before asking that. "And...you're nearly done?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes." The answer was short and sweet. "There is one more bastard out there. The cleverest out of all of them. I am starting to catch on to his patterns. Should be dead soon enough" He would not rest until John was completely 100% safe. "I wont stop until that man isnt breathing anymore. He took Johns hand and gave it a squeeze. He hoped that was okay.

John's fingers curled around Sherlock's hand instantly, and he didn't let it go. "In the meantime, I'll set everything up for us in Baker Street for when you can finally come home."

"Yes. Sounds like a plan to me" Sherlock was more than satisfied with Johns reaction the their touch. "Well i better get going" Sherlock stood up and opened his arms. It wasnt like Sherlock to want a hug. But he needed one from John. Sherlock looked at him with yearning eyes hoping he would embrace him. "Come on now. For Luck" Sherlock hoped he didnt sound as desperate as he felt.

John was surprised by that, but quickly smiled brightly and stood up to wrap his arms around Sherlock. He buried his head in Sherlock's chest, knowing that this was where he belonged. It took years to figure it out, but there was no one else John could ever love more than this man.

Sherlock was happy John joined him for an embrace. Nothing had never felt so right than right here and now. "I have really missed you John Watson." Sherlock spoke softly.

Feeling Sherlock's arms around him, the doctor could feel his heart mending. He didn't want to let go. "Never do that to me again, got it?" He said against the detective's chest.

"Never" Sherlock said pulling back and looking hard into Johns eyes.

John's breath caught as he stared into Sherlock's eyes. They were so close, their faces just inches apart. He swallowed, wanting nothing more than to lean up and kiss him. His desire showed in his eyes as they glanced at his lips.

It didnt take a fool to figure out John wanted a kiss. "John, your pupils are dilated" Sherlock said in a playful tone. He also noticed how John glanced down at his lips. Sherlock couldnt help but do the same.

"Shut up." John whispered, blushing furiously. His heart raced, but he decided to take the risk and close the distance between their lips.

Sherlock leaned long and hard into the kiss. He tried to close any distance between him and the doctor. He pulled John forward and tried to translate all of his love into this one simple gesture.

John felt all his fears, all his tensions and worries melt as Sherlock held him. He was truly alive again. He only broke the kiss when he needed to breathe again. "...Go kill that bastard."

Sherlock gave "the game is on" smile and left to finish what he had started for the man he loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**((hey guys! sorry this chapter is a little short, you all were just so eager for it to continue so i just whipped something up these past few days so enjoy))**

Its done SH

John sighed in relief. Its been too long since he'd seen Sherlock. He sat down as he chuckled to himself. Funny how he went 3 years without Sherlock and now he can barely go three weeks. Of course this missing Sherlock was not nearly as bad as the last time Sherlock was gone.

Sherlock planned to phone Lestrade, who knew about Sherlock's "death" so he could take care of all the legal work. He would tell Lestrade the last of Moriarty's men were dead. His John would now be completely out of harms way. Lestrade would take care of the body, as he did the others. He could finally go home to John, because John was home. Sherlock had a feeling, a feeling that him and John would be in it for the long run. Sherlock had never had experience in the dating department. That was more of Johns area, so maybe John could show Sherlock some of his skill. Sherlock thought with a cheeky smile.

John slipped away into a blissful sleep. There was a harsh banging on the door. He slowly woke and jumped up to answer it. He had hoped so hard it would be Sherlock. He was playing the scene over and over in his head all day. Sherlock would come home; John would welcome him with a warm and loving second kiss. They would sit there and stare into eachothers eyes for hours. Share many more kisses. He was eager to find out what the detective has been up to these past years. They would talk and kiss the years away until there was nothing more to be said. John and Sherlock would grow old together, it was meant to be.

Sherlock finally got to phoning Lestrade. 'Yes hello its me, I got the last man. Come to take care of the body. Oh I should probably mention I saw John."

"What, Sherlock that wasn't the plan. Do you realize how dangerous that was" Sherlock could feel his annoyance penetrating through the phone. "Of course but, you should know it was for his own good. Don't be a fool, I would not have went to him, risking his life, unless it was important." That would shut him up on the matter Sherlock thought to himself. Sherlock then heard a loud crash behind him. He squinted his eyes and saw a figure escaping into the night. Holding his arm as if someone shot him. "Lestrade seems like my aim off. Call you back in gif" He ran towards the man and tackled him.

John turned the doorknob in anticipation. He opened the door ready so say "Sherlock!" but to his disappointment it wasn't the man he yearned for.

Sherlock and the man fell with a thud to the ground. Sherlock flipped him over so that Sherlock was leaning over the man with intention to kill in his eyes. "Think you're safe? Think John is safe? Well ha! Guess again kiddo. Moriarty was just the tip of the ice burg. He had a back up plan, of course he did. So now with you killing everyone involved –predictable I might add- there is a new team assembled and ready to take action." By this point Sherlock backed up from the man. He was shocked as to what he was hearing. Was this really happening? "Shocked are you? Good. Jim would have loved to see that expression on your face." Sherlock didn't realized he had fully stood up, and so had this man. The man claiming John was still in danger. "We'll be in touch Mr. Holmes. And don't worry about not knowing when I will contact you. You will know. I'll make sure of it" And with that Sherlock stood there frozen and he walked away. Sherlock called up Lestrade to tell him about this new information. 'Greg, its not over. I was wrong. There is another team assembled. Tell John not to worry. Tell him I need to stay away a little longer. Promise him it wont be long, and make sure he cant get in contact with me. God knows he will try." Lestrade listened obediently. Sherlock had never told Greg, but it was clear to him that Sherlock loved John. Knowing Sherlock, if Greg messed up, it wouldn't be pretty. 'So go to John's now. He probably expected me back hours ago"

It was Lestrade at the door. "Oh hello, what are you doing out this late?" Greg hadn't seem John this happy in a long time. Sherlock informed John that Lestrade knew about Sherlock being alive for legal purposes. Then a wave of disappointment washed over John because it wasn't Sherlock. He didn't care if Greg saw. He wouldn't care. "Um, John take a seat, ive got something to tell you." His world crumbled down. "He's not dead is he?" there was no need to specify who. Because honestly, who else would John be talking about? He didn't want to have to go through this again. He couldn't lose Sherlock again. Greg saw the worry written on Johns face "No John, God not. He just can't home back as soon as he hoped. Now I'm not sure how much Sherlock, and me for that matter, want you to know, but all I will tell you is that, there are more people than expected. Another group. We don't have much information about them, but its for the best that you don't contact Sherlock for some time. Not until I hear otherwise from him." John sighed in relief. He didn't like not being able to contact Sherlock for sometime, but if it enabled them being together for a life time, he guessed it would be all worth it in the end.

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